


sickening sweet like honey

by heecheondo (HChnD)



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: But it's not descriptive, Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Translation Available, better safe than sorry!, but the + 1 is THE most important part, capital letters is for hets, except the X arent super detailed and the + 1 is the most important part, give arthur a job 2k19, hence why i cant tag, i wanna tag something else but SPOILERS, lapslock, no beta we die like men, okay save for one of the X, one of these X times + 1, stole this tag from another atiny, teen and ups just because there is mentions of sex, the best tag, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 16:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17832461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HChnD/pseuds/heecheondo
Summary: after many initiatives taken by yunho, hongjoong considered it was about time he took some as well.[info] this fic has been translated intoRussian, courtesy ofVagueSadness!!!





	sickening sweet like honey

**Author's Note:**

> me: i have a shitton of things to d--  
> my brain: ok but consider this: yunjoong  
> me:  
> me, sighing and opening a new draft: time to feed the gays (me)

kim hongjoong wasn't one of taking initiatives when it came to relationships. he was inexperienced, always thinking about studies since he was pretty young, having no time to invest in his crushes. he knew since his final year of middle school that he was bi, which in theory duplicates one's chance at getting a cute significant other, but the boy had never let his feelings to grow much, and no one seemed to have any interest in him anyway, so once he was midway through his music producing major, he had yet to get himself into his first relationship.

enters jeong yunho, an extrovert lover who was just  _so_  expressive, so full of love. it was impossible for the older not to develop a crush on him, but as always he didn't try a thing, focusing on his studies and produced songs and ignoring the way the butterflies in his stomach freely flew around when he was with the other, when he texted him, when he simply thought of him. it wasn't the first time he felt like that, and it was probably why he was so cool with it. because he knew how to react, how to conceal his feelings, how to move on.

but the younger never let him do it, with his teasing that had hints of flirtatious intentions, with the wink and heart emojis he sent so much, with the way he simply looked at hongjoong. he wasn't blind, he could nearly literally  _see_  the hearts forming on the corner of yunho's eyes and flying away, landing on his own, on his hands, on his cheek. it would always make him shy, blushing and looking away, and the younger would always tease about it.

hongjoong still wouldn't say a thing.

so, of course, yunho got tired of sending so many signs. the older had expected he had given up, but the younger didn't know that word. he did pretty much the opposite, he had asked him out. like a date, a romantic one. 

he was conflicted. it was obvious he wanted it, hongjoong knew it and he also knew that so did yunho. but he honestly hadn't expected it, because no one had ever actually made a move on him. sure he was flirted with before but it was just that: meaningless flirting. and he had expected the same from him, even if deep down, really deeply, he hoped otherwise.

hongjoong was glad he had this tiny bit of hope, but he was still confused.

he remembers yunho laughing at him, talking about how it looked like the application had stopped working - stupid computer science majors and their nerd talk - by the reaction he had given. and then he assured him he'd not get butthurt if he said no, but that it seemed like hongjoong hadn't given him any red light and he was willing to try everything he could, if so the older allowed.

in the end, he did.

they went out once, then twice, then somehow it became mandatory for them to hang out once per week. hongjoong didn't hate it, much the opposite, but he didn't know what to do or what they were. everything was so new for him and he wasn't sure what was okay and what wasn't, if yunho was on the same page as him, if he hadn't accidentally misunderstood him and expected something the younger never considered.

he should probably ask. he was itching to do it, in fact, but there was always this feeling in his gut that told him that maybe it would be better not to, that maybe he should just enjoy the time they had together and not think much about what it meant, distracting himself with more work.

yunho didn't like the sound of it. he supposed it was reasonable to worry, but he didn't get why he cared so much, often stopping by the university's music building and dragging him out whatever studio room he was on, his favourite coffee in hands. still, he didn't ask.

"you shouldn't overwork yourself", he said quietly. 

"it's fine--"

"no, hyung, it's not. you should rest more. i bet you'd even sleep inside this studio if it wasn't for me."

he rolled his eyes. but really, he had a  _very_  valid point.

"let's go out tomorrow."

"tomorrow? but i have to finish this until sunday night."

"sunday night? hyung, it's thursday! you have plenty of time."

"but this song's not finished yet."

"what's missing?"

"uhm", he gulped down. "everything."

yunho didn't look pleased. "it's nearly at the end, isn't it?"

hongjoong bit the inside of his cheeks, running out of excuses. yeah, he only had to do some touches on the arrangement, but yunho didn't need to know that. he _didn't know_ that.

he sighed. "hyung, i can read you well. i know you're avoiding me."

he gulped again. damn, this was unfair. the feeling in his gut that would always stop him from asking suddenly felt tight again and he didn't know what to say. he just stared at his palm, unsure of how to react.

"hongjoong-hyung...", the taller yet younger one spoke again, finally sitting down the chair beside hongjoong's and making him turn at him. he breathed in slowly. "you can tell me what's wrong. if it's something i've said or done that made you uncomfortable you can just tell me. even if you think it will hurt me, or offend me, it's better than concealing it and making you like this. i don't like seeing you so tired and sad."

the look that yunho gave him as he spoke was much worse than the actual words and it made him feel guilty that he was the cause to that. he was so worried about his own issues, trying not to grow too attached, that he never considered the other's feelings. "it's just... i don't know what to do... with us. i don't know what we are, or what i can or can't do, or anything else. i'm so confused and i don't wanna ruin whatever is between us."

at some point the younger had reached out to his hand and was now caressing it with his thumb, face calm yet full of focus, listening to every word of his. at the end he gave him a small yet sweet smile. "hyung... we can be whatever you want. personally, i would love if you were my boyfriend, but...", he paused a bit, "i'm not sure if you're on the same page."

hongjoong blinked at that. "you do...?"

"yeah", he replied easily. "i am in love with you, hyung."

the older left a gasp at that, being caught off guard. "oh.  _wow_. i had no idea."

yunho frowned. "that's how you react to my confession?"

"oh, i'm sorry! i'm just", he licked his lips, "taken aback. a lot. but i'm", he paused again, feeling his cheeks burn. "i am in love with you too, yunho-yah. and i'd love to be your boyfriend."

the younger gave him a full grin. "cool."

"...yeah, cool."

"so."

he stared at the taller. "so...?"

"we are totally going on a date tomorrow", yunho said firmly. "and i don't wanna hear excuses, _boyfriend_."

hongjoong rolled his eyes a second time that day but refused to go against him.

dating yunho was fun and extremely sweet. that was something he quickly discovered, despite the change not being that different from their usual hangouts. it was mostly all the same, except that there was not the worry of getting the signs wrong, the doubt of what all of that meant, for none of them. and now that they were official the younger wasn't afraid of accidentally being too much, like complimenting him non stop, sending him endless love messages - that went from  _i love you so so so (and after many more so's) much_  to a simple  _you've eaten already right? if not i'm gonna make you eat an entire chicken on your own >:(_ -, or jokingly tease his height only to say that was one of the many reasons he was so in love with him. since they officially became a couple yunho refused to restrain his clinginess, refused to not express his undying love at all times. and because of that hongjoong himself felt freer to show affection back, although not as much as the taller.

because he was still extremely unsure of what was or wasn't acceptable. he would always wonder, it's been only three days, _they shouldn't be this clingy already, right?_ now they were only a few weeks old, _what was socially acceptable for couples this young?_ one month passed and they have never held hands, _that wasn't_ too _slow, was it?_

but somehow yunho would always know what was on his mind.

once they were at the cinema and hongjoong couldn't stop staring at the hand that was resting not far from his from time to time. it wasn't that he was bored or uninterested on the screen, but that hand was whispering his name, begging to be held. and he wanted, oh so badly, but he wasn't sure if that was okay.

and then the younger stared at him from the corner of his eyes, laughing so quietly he thought he was hearing things until he was tilting towards him. "can i hold your hand, hyung?"

thankfully it was mostly dark, the screen shining shades of violets that hid his blush once it hit on his face. "sure", he tried to sound indifferent but he knew yunho knew better. and he knew that it would come to bite him in the butt later, with his dongsaeng teasing how cute he was when embarrassed after being caught. but at that moment he just quietly held the other's hand, warmth travelling from his palms to all of hongjoong's body, until it reached his heart.

after that day it was nearly impossible not to spot the two of them holding hands, or better, cuddling. yunho was a sucker for displaying affection and hongjoong adored to feel loved. it was a great combination.

the first time they kissed was also because of the younger. well, this time he had indulged too, but only to an extent. it was their first hundred and hongjoong wanted it to be special. he bought presents for yunho, made him dinner and invited him over, without revealing a thing. it had been a great surprise for him who, despite knowing well what day it was and getting him presents as well, didn't expect much from him. not because he'd never done something special to him, much the opposite, it just that he was supposed to be the sappy romantic in their relationship and his hyung had taken it from him. the older laughed at his boyfriend's silly words, but he hadn't even seen it all. once they ate and yunho had his guards down a second time hongjoong gave him the actual present: a cd with music he had written to him.

yunho was speechless. him, who was so expressive, who always knew what to do or say, froze. for a second the older panicked but then he was being smashed into a tight hug, those that made your feet leave the floor and took your breath away. but hongjoong was laughing, relieved that it was a great present.

"god hyung, i could kiss you right here, right now."

he stopped his laughter but his smile never left his lips. "what are you waiting for, then?"

the younger didn't need to be told twice, cupping his cheeks and leaning down, claiming those lips that he had desired for so long.

little by little the older felt bolder. he'd talk more about new things he'd like to do with the younger, like going on vacations, having sleepovers, but there was always something he couldn't ask.

sex.

they were older than half a year, approaching their two hundredth day together and yet they had never done it. yunho didn't ask for it, probably because he didn't want to pressure his boyfriend onto doing something he wasn't ready for and he was thankful for that. yet he at the same time still wished he did because he couldn't bring himself to ask. half a year had passed, and they kissed a lot now, _a lot_. and sure the topic was sometimes brought, but only for a few minutes before the subject was once again changed.

eventually, yunho asked. not directly, like  _hey, wanna have sex?_ , and not because of his own selfish desires being too much to bear. he asked because hongjoong seemed comfortable with their make outs getting hotter, more passionate, but never voiced such thoughts. he asked because he felt that his older boyfriend was ready, that he wanted more, but he wanted to be sure. _completely_ sure. so he didn't ask once, didn't ask twice.

"do you really wanna do this now?", "are you fine with this?", "you okay there?", he would ask. 

he kept asking from time to time, wanting to be assured that no limit would be surpassed without the other's consent, and hongjoong was  _so_  thankful. he felt so cared for, so loved and he wouldn't have it any other way. the experience itself was wonderful, but because it was with  _yunho_ , who he loved so much and loved him back just as much, there weren't enough words to describe how he felt. he just knew that it was a good feeling, a good memory, and it was endlessly more special that it was spent with him.

the days quickly became weeks, months, years. they went from simple campus acquaintances to friends to lovers. they used to meet only once per week, then more, then every day, until they started living under the same roof. they had come so far and what they had was so special.

but hongjoong wanted more. he somehow always wanted more, despite having so much already. but he wanted to deliver the entire universe for yunho, and despite him being his first relationship he knew damn well he'd be his last. it was as if he was sent to earth to love him with all his being, to make him the happiest, and he felt like he had yet to do it.

and he would do it.

it wasn't a special day of any sorts. it wasn't their anniversary, it wasn't one of their countless hundreds, it wasn't his birthday. hell, it wasn't even a weekend. but hongjoong expected that it would only make it better, caught the younger when he least expected it. once yunho arrived at their shared home, lights all dark, he was instantly confused. the older was always the one whose ass got dragged to bed, despite working at home and having the entire day to rest on it, so that was weird. 

once he turned on the lights he eyes how the house was filled with post its. eyeing them up close he could recognize them as being some line of lyrics that hongjoong wrote inspired from himself, from the first cd he had gifter the younger on their first hundred to the newest creation on the older's yet to be released album. they were all aligned on the floor, dragging the man towards the other's music studio, as dark as how he had found the living room. "babe?", he tried asking as he put the head inside the room. silence. he was getting nervous, not knowing what to expect, stepping inside the room. he turned on the lights, eyeing that hongjoong had been waiting for him inside the recording booth. "hyung? what are you d--"

"can't hear you", he quickly said with a smile, pointing at the mic in front of him. "love, can you do me a favour and press play on the file on my computer?"

yunho stared at his boyfriend, wondering what he was planning. still, he did as told, taking the mouse and pressing play on an instrumental that was already selected. he laughed at the name file,  _20181024.mp3_ , the date the younger had finally confessed to hongjoong.

the song started playing its first notes and it was really calming. it felt like a ballad but it clearly had a sound similar to r&b as well. but then the older started rapping with a flow that seemed more melodic than his usual flow, but it fit the song perfectly. and it only took him a few lines for yunho to react, to gasp in realization,  _he was telling their story on the lyrics_. how they met as well as all of their firsts. he was hit with a lot of nostalgia and couldn't help but tear up. it didn't help that hongjoong was about to break down as well.

and then the song was near its end, the instrumental playing its final notes. until the room was filled with silence, the younger letting a single tear of happiness leave his eye, looking at the other get something from his pocket.

it was time for him to take initiative for once.

"yunho-yah. will you marry me?"

**Author's Note:**

> i cried writing this, no joke. anyway, my birthday ended a few minutes ago but considering i started at like 10pm i'm still counting this as a self birthday present uwu i hope you enjoyed this random story as much as i loved writing it  
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/heecheondo) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/heecheondo) | [other links/about me](https://heecheondo.carrd.co/)  
> title from troye sivan - for him. been addicted to his songs lately


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